Partly Facetious: The outcome of a game

"I propose a contest..."
"Hey we aren't good at team games... I mean the cricket match we lost to the Kiwis was... was..."
"Yeah, you and the rest of the country is completely dumb founded at our defeat."
"The outcome of a game is difficult to predict..."
"Especially when Pakistan's cricket team is playing..."
"That's true - they go from heroes to zeroes from one game to the next."
"But it's the same in the game of politics. From hero to zero as The Khan is beginning to realize. If the opposition accuses you of taking u turns then your response should be..."
"Mine would be denial after all a u turn is not constructive for the person taking the u turn."
"Reminds me of the princess and the pea, a true princess would know there is a pea even if you place many, many mattresses on top. So my friend a true leader which you are not would simply redefine a U-turn."
"Right, so from defining a u turn being an undesirable objective The Khan made it into a desirable objective."
"Right, but you know it's not as if The Khan had given an affidavit and then made a u turn - I mean he made a u turn on verbal promises..."
"Our other great leader Zardari sahib says a signed document is not hadith."
"Hmmm, so what about benami assets and..."
"Leave it to the lawyers I say. I propose a game, a debate, a contest if you will between the pirs of all three of our great leaders - Zardari sahib, The Khan and Nawaz Sharif."
"Ha ha, what if Zardari sahib's pir advises him to stay near the sea, isn't that what he used to say when things got kind of hot in the capital, then he ain't coming to Islamabad for the contest."
"But Zardari sahib's presence is not required just his pir's presence."
"Nonstarter that, it's not gonna work, I hear pirs, and I am a firm proponent of gender neutrality in all professions and/or activities and so a pir maybe male or female, anyway pirs are not really given to competition between themselves."
"Hmmm, so how do we know who is the best?"
"You choose and stay with the pir for as long as you are satisfied..."
"Don't be facetious."